Bakura's first trip to the dentist!
by Psycho BakuRyou
Summary: It's night time Bakura's getting ready for bed. Ryou asks him all the personal hygene questions. It looks like poor little Baku. didn't brush his teeth right and the GERMAN CAVITIES attacked his teeth. Will Bakura be his "bad" self...or actually be...good


Bakura's first trip to the dentist!

There was moaning and groaning in the bathroom. Ryou had finally come out looking like a half shed snake.

"Stupid Bakura. Couldn't put sun block on me. I ache all over and…and I look ugly!" Ryou cried. He went into Bakura's room.

"Who's that fine man with the tan skin? Huh? Yea you bet your ass that's Bakura." Bakura said making out with himself in the mirror.

"Bakura!" Ryou cried.

Bakura stopped kissing the mirror and looked at Ryou. He saw his lip mark on the mirror and wiped it with his shirt. "Yes…?" Bakura asked nicely.

"Look what you did to me! I look like…like some messed up experimented animal!" Ryou cried.

"I'm sorry Ryou. When you're digging a hole to the world you kinda forget everything." Bakura said smiling at himself in the mirror. "Plus you were cheating on me with John…or Marik. The one that's like shit." Bakura said.

Ryou groaned in frustration. "A John is a bathroom. It's how you say it in England you freaking retard!" Ryou screamed.

"Hey! No name calling you fucking son of a bitch loser ugly animal." Bakura said.

Ryou started crying.

"I'm sorry Ryou. Hey at least I didn't call you any names." Bakura said smiling nicely at him.

"You just called a fucking son of a bitch ugly animal loser." Ryou sniffed.

"No I said fucking song of a bitch loser ugly animal." Bakura corrected.

"And you sell yourself out. Is there a brain in there somewhere? I had to have given you some part of my brain." Ryou asked knocking on Bakura's head.

"No there's just a lot of music going on." Bakura said.

"Well I hope you have this on your guilty conscience that…I look like a bald cat and you look…pretty!" Ryou screamed.

"Fine. I prefer fine, hot or sexy or…Hey baby." Bakura said making out with himself again.

"Desperate person." Ryou said.

"Hey! I don't have anyone to kiss and I'm the fine one here…not some ugly bald ugly looking cat thing." Bakura said looking Ryou up and down.

Ryou sniffed and made his eyes big.

"But I have space in my heart for ugly cat looking people." Bakura said hugging him.

Ryou punched his stomach and stepped on his foot. "Well you look like…Marik! See! HAHA! Marik because you're tanned!" Ryou screamed.

"Oh my Ra! I've been calling Marik hot and fine and Ooooh my Ra! Ryou you know what this means! I will be eaten by some strange animal and shitted out the next day!" Bakura screamed.

"Marik its Marik. You look like Marik. Nani nani boo boo." Ryou said teasingly.

"Well you're a bald cat!" Bakura screamed.

"Rather be a bald cat than Marik. It's Marilk. You look like Marik. And you called him fine and…made out with Marik. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Ryou said disgustedly.

"No! Have I sunk so low as to…kiss Marik! Oh Ra. My life is truly over." Bakura cried.

"Only if you kiss someone that doesn't look like you…or you look in the mirror….will this all then turn into your past lifey thingy." Ra said.

"Ra's using big words on me. He said lifey I don't know what a lifey is." Bakura said.

"You life you fucking dumbass. God damn and to think you're one that praises me." Ra said.

"So………..I gotta kiss someone that doesn't look like me…or Marik—shudders—where am I gonna find one?" Bakura asked.

"There's a whole fucking world out there you dumbass! There's a person outside your door, taking a shit, using the john, out—

"Who the hell is John goddammit!" Bakura screamed.

"Your ass." Ra said disappearing.

"Hey John." Bakura said waving at his ass.

Ryou slapped his head.

"Ryou…we need to talk." Bakura said seriously.

_By god I think he's finally serious for once._ Ryou sat down next to Bakura.

"We've been friends…for…quite some time now and…I need help

"Thank god he realizes he needs mental help." Ryou said.

"No…not mental help I—you really think I need mental help?" Bakura interrupted himself.

"Very much. Continue what you were saying." Ryou said.

"Well Ra told me…

Oh god he's going into story-telling mode. I wonder why he acts so freakishly stupid. Did I like…mess him up or something. Nah. I never mess anything up. He makes me mess up. What is he blabbing about? Blah blah blah blah blah is all I EVER hear him saying.

"Blah blah blah blah blah. Uh-huh. Blah blah blah bla-a-a-ah." Bakura said.

Now he's really saying Blah blah blah.

"I need to kiss you." Bakura said.

_What the fuck!_

"No Bakura. I'm…married." Ryou said.

"To John right! Damn you John!" Bakura screamed at his ass.

"Yes I'm married to a toilet." Ryou said.

"Oh…wow. Whew. For a second there I thought you married my ass." Bakura said.

"Yea……." Ryou said moving away from him.

"Ryou…it's the only way to save me from Marik and myself. You don't want me to turn into Marik right?" Bakura asked.

Ryou thought. "I want to see you in a red bikini Ryou." Ryou shuddered. "No!" He screamed.

"Then save me. Pwetty pwease with a chewy on top." Bakura said like a little kid.

"I don't like cherries." Ryou said.

"Pwetty pwease with a cweam puff on top." Bakura said cupping his hands and making his eyes big.

"Mmm I like cream puffs." Ryou said licking his lips.

"I'll give you all you want if you kiss me. Pwease! I'm dying over here knowing I kissed Marik." Bakura cried.

"You didn't kiss Marik. I was playing around with you. It was revenge for calling me a bald cat." Ryou said.

"But Ra said—

"Ra can kiss my big round ass." Ryou said.

Ra shot down a lightening bolt and struck Ryou.

"Ryou! Oh my Ra!" Bakura cried.

"I…survived that?" Ryou asked waking up.

"Yes! I thought I was gonna die." Bakura said hugging Ryou.

_Dammit! So close!_

"Ryou I'm giving you…a second offer. Please! You have too! I'll be a good little boy forever and ever and ever and I promise to you because…you're Ryou." Bakura begged.

"Well…" Ryou said unsure.

"If it were you who would be turning like Marik…I'd kiss you…but with my eyes closed in fear of the blindness." Bakura said.

"Ok. Only if you promise to be god forever and ever and ever like you said or I'll take back my kiss." Ryou said.

"Ok!" Bakura said desperately looking at his hands and body to see if he was changing.

Ryou kissed him and wiped his mouth on his shirt.

"I'm free! I'm free from the curse! I CAN LIVE AGAIN!" Bakura screamed happily.

"I don't know what that proves. You better not have herpes or I'll hurt you." Ryou said scrubbing his mouth with soap.

Bakura saw he was still tanned and gasped. "I still look like that fag! You didn't kiss me! You want me to die looking like Marik! You're a bad man!" Bakura cried.

"You're tanned Bakura it will go away soon I promise." Ryou said.

"But how long…how long! Do I have to look like this!" Bakura cried.

"About 3 weeks…2 weeks." Ryou said.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Bakura screamed.

That night…

"Marik…I mean Bakura—Ryou chuckled—

Bakura cried and put his head down in the pillow.

"Bakura…did you brush your hair?" Ryou asked

"Yes." Bakura said.

"Did you take a bath?" Ryou asked.

"Maybe…no." Bakura said.

"Ew. Did you brush your teeth?" Ryou asked.

"Yea!" Bakura said excitedly.

Ryou patted Bakura's head and got up from the edge of his bed ready to leave.

"No. Ryou don't weave me! Tell me a bed time stowy." Bakura begged.

"Ok." Ryou said.

Bakura put on his big eyes ready to here a really great bedtime story.

"There once was a man from Nantucket…who lived in a bucket who asked little Mrs. Muffet for a tuffet and stick it in her shoe…the end." Ryou said.

Bakura was still with his big eyes smiling stupidly and when Ryou said "The end" he frowned. "That was the stupidest story I have ever fucking heard! Ryou you will never work in this town again! Get the fuck out of here!" Bakura ordered pointing to the door.

"You're so supportive." Ryou said sarcastically and walking out.

During the middle of the night…

Bakura was sweating and tossing and turning on his bed…

"Hmm…this looks like a good spot." A cavity monster said.

"Yes. It looks for good…he had…steak for din din. This person no flossy." A second cavity monster said.

"I poopied in my panties." A third cavity monster said.

"That's nice Bob we're on a mission here." The first cavity monster said.

"A duh duh duh a duh." The third cavity monster said banging his chest.

"Let's rule Germany! Niet niet! GO ADOLPH!" The second cavity screamed.

Everyone looked at the second cavity.

"Go…ice cream." The second cavity said embarrassed.

"YEA!" They all screamed.

The cavities started eating at Bakura's teeth.

The next morning…

"Ow-w-w-w-w-w-w! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" Bakura screamed.

"What happened!" Ryou asked still half asleep.

"My toof hurts." Bakura said rubbing his cheek.

"Open up let me see." Ryou said.

"No!" Bakura screamed.

"Let me see Bakura." Ryou said.

"No!" Bakura screamed.

"Hey guys!" Marik screamed.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Bakura screamed.

Ryou jumped on Bakura and kept his mouth opened.

"Yep. Looks like a cavity." Ryou said.

"Are they sweet?" Bakura asked.

"No…they hurt." Ryou said.

"You sure I've heard of that somewhere…it's like a food. They taste good." Bakura said.

"No Bakura…a cavity…is…a cavity." Ryou said.

"Very specific Ryou." Bakura said sarcastically.

"Looks like I'm going to have to take you to the dentist." Ryou said.

"The dentist! What's a dentist!" Bakura asked nervously.

"It's where they go and make clones of me!" Marik said laughing evilly.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I DON'T WANNA GO I DON'T WANNA GO!" Bakura screamed knocking Ryou off him and hiding under the covers.

"He's playing with you." Ryou said.

"Yea I'm just fucking with you." Marik said.

"Ew no! Never! I'll die if I have too!" Bakura screamed.

"Too specific Marik." Ryou said dragging Bakura out of bed.

"No he leaves! He has to leave me no be able to see when he here!" Bakura said.

"Why I'm hot. I'm sexy I'm cute I'm popular to boot……uhhh……something something great hair the boys all love to stare. I'm…danger? I roar I swear I'm a fucking whore. Then you shake your butt and shake your butt and shake your butt and—

"Make him stop Ryou make him stop!" Bakura cried hiding his face on Ryou's shoulder.

"Marik…leave please." Ryou said.

"Ok fine." Marik said.

Bakura lifted his face.

"And shake your butt and shake your butt and shake your butt." Marik sang again shaking his ass in Bakura's face.

Bakura tossed him out the window and ran to the bathroom pouring 30 different types of antiseptics on his hands.

"Get dressed Bakura you're going to the dentist." Ryou said.

They were in the car…

"Ryou…you're serious that…they don't make Marik clones right?" Bakura asked trembling in fear.

"I swear they don't Marik was playing around to get to you." Ryou said.

"I don't want him close to me." Bakura said getting off the car.

They entered the dentist and went to the waiting room.

Bakura was being checked out by an old lady. The old lady raised her eyebrows and licked her lips to "turn him on" (If you wanna say that) and her teeth fell out.

"EWWWW! Nasty!" Bakura said hiding behind Ryou.

A little girl was coloring in a Winnie the Pooh magazine and stared at Bakura.

"Why are you here mister?" She asked.

"I have a cavity." Bakura said.

"What's that?" She asked.

"A cavity is a cavity. That's what he said." Bakura said pointing at Ryou.

"How old are you mister you wook wike my gwandpa?" The little girl asked.

"5,000." Bakura said.

"Wow… will my gwandpa wive that wong?" She asked.

"I don't know." Bakura said.

The little girl was annoying them with question about her and her grandpa.

"And my gwandpa threw the baw and I caught it and we did it again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again—

2 ½ hours later…

"And again but I dwopped it this time and we did it again and again and again…"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! HOLY SHIT! SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ANNOYING LITTLE GIRL YOU SEE YOUR BOOK HUH! YOU SEE IT—he ripped it—IF YOU DON'T FUCKING SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR GRANDPA I'LL DO THAT TO HIM!" Bakura screamed.

"Next." A lady said.

"Let's go Bakura." Ryou said dragging him away from the crying little girl.

"Mr. Bakura. Hi how are you?" The dentist asked.

"You're not making me into Marik!" Bakura screamed.

Ryou covered his mouth. "Please…cut the conversation and make it quick." Ryou whispered to him.

"Well…open up Bakura." The dentist said trying to open Bakura's mouth.

"No!" Bakura screamed.

"Ryou…you'll get something really good I promise. He won't turn you into Marik." Ryou said playing with his hair.

"You promise?" Bakura asked sniffing.

"Yes. I promise." Ryou said. "Attack now! He's vulnerable." Ryou hissed to the dentist.

The Dentist opened Bakura's mouth and started drilling.

"AHHHH! AHHH! RYOU!" Bakura screamed crying and beating up the dentist.

"Don't you touch me again! I'll beat your fucking ass bitch! Die you little…GRRR!" Bakura screamed.

The doctor laid crippled on the floor dead with his ribs broken and legs.

"Bakura…you're…" Ryou sighed.

Another dentist came in to try and finish the job.

"OH MY GOD TEHRE'S MORE! This is just like the fucking mailmen!" Bakura screamed.

He killed all the ones that came in and sighed tiredly.

"I can't kill anymore. There's too many." Bakura said.

"We have to give him sleeping gas. It's the only way." The last dentist in the whole building said.

"Put him to sleep for all I care. Let it be forever!" Ryou begged.

They put the sleeping gas on Bakura and he fell asleep quickly.

"Yes! Peace!" Ryou screamed.

The dentist decided to pull the tooth out because the cavity was just way too big. He stepped on the sleeping gas cord making it turn off.

"Almost got it!" The dentist strained.

"Ahhhh! IT HURTS! WHAT IS HE DOING!" Bakura screamed.

Ryou held Bakura down so he wouldn't kill the last dentist.

"Got it!" The dentist screamed.

Bakura started screaming hysterically and cried.

In the waiting room…

All the little kids were panicking and begging their moms to go home.

"Look at your tooth Bakura." The dentist said showing him.

Bakura screamed and covered his eyes. "IT LOOKS LIKE MARIK!" He screamed crying.

"Hey yea…it does." Ryou said.

"They do make Marik clones here." Bakura said scared.

"Here's your lolli Bakura." The dentist said.

Bakura licked his lollipop and chucked it at the dentist killing him.

"Serves you right bitch." Bakura said stepping on him.

"It's hell in there." Bakura said in the waiting room making all the little kids cry.

At home…

"Now you're going to brush your teeth better…and bathe." Ryou said.

"Yes Ryou." Bakura said chewing on a chew toy.

There was a knock at the door…it was Yugi.

"What the fuck do you want?" Bakura asked.

"Nothing came to hang out." Yugi said walking crippled.

"What the hell happened to you?" Bakura asked.

"Well…I went to the doctor…they cut my hemorrhoid off." Yugi said.

"Oh…how'd you get it?" Bakura and Ryou asked.

"Well…you know when I say "Yu-gi-oh" really loud?" Yugi asked.

"Hate that." Bakura said.

"Well…when I said it I said it like YUU-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-GI-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O OW OW OW! OW! I pushed too hard screaming it and it just…came out. I did a super sayan like that stupid show. They all must have hemorrhoids screaming and powering up like that. I went to the doctor and cut it off hurt like a bitchy bitchy." Yugi said rubbing his ass.

"And this is me…"pretending" to care go get a life and leave." Bakura said throwing Yugi out the window and letting the cars run him over. "Bitchy bitchy who the fuck says that!" He said.

"Get a good night sleep tonight Bakura…you're getting a surprise in the morning." Ryou said smiling.

"Ooh is it another chew toy!" Bakura asked looking at his chewed up destroyed squeaky ball toy.

"You'll see." Ryou said still smiling.

"Yea hahaha—snorts—haha you'll see!" Marik laughed.

"Ahhhhh!" Bakura screamed crying and running to his room.

If you didn't get the part with the mailmen…if you read Ryou's Gone! Part 1…you'll get it.


End file.
